haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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