remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
