6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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