On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
