a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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