We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
