we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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