Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
