My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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