dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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