I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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