Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
