just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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