hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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