You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
