It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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