Who wears a wallet chain?!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
