Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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