Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
