i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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