Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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