Swine flu is the new snow day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
