Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
