Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
