even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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