So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
