I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
