I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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