He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Buhtt sex?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
