its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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