Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
