I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
