Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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