so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
