I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
