thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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