do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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