The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
