I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
