I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
