I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
