Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
