oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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