I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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