nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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