Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize