You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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