How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
