so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My vagina is officially offended.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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