So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
