And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
