Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
