does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
