ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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