I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
