I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
