you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
