After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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