let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
