flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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