"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Still dying that you shit outside
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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