I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
