I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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