those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
