I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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