Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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