i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
