hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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