I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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