So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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