You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
