Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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