Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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