Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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